Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
