No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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