I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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