If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
