Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
