sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
