Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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