I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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