dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
