i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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