I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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