Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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