Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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