after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
