Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize