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He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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