Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
