those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
