I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
