Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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