fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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