Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
