Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
