We're like a lot better than the average bears
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
