omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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