Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I smell like Dick and happiness
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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