we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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