So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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