I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
