Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
