CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
