we have officially lost it.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
