Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
