dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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