I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
