butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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