I want to walk on stilts...naked
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
