Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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