Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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