problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Your dad touched me again.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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