they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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