Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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