His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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