we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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