So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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