New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We talked him into tasing himself.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I woke up under a house in Key West
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