I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
