So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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