The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
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there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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