I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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