Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
