What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
