the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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