I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
