so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize