i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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