tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Every concussion has its silver lining
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
