my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
