I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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