Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize