Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
birth control should be required to get into college
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
