Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize