he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
