is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
